Golf Language

 

Golf is not any different from other sports in that it has its own unique language - so to help you navigate I have put together at least 10 of my observations.  Some of these have even spilled over to real life.  For example, a favorite of many golfers is "mulligan."  You just hit a terrible shot and tell your partners I am taking my mulligan - it's like that shot did not happen - a do-over.  Suppose life was like that - and you could have a do-over.  My, how life could change. 

 Note: real golfers never use mulligans.

10)    Well, it looks like you just "air-mailed that shot." This has nothing to do with the post office, but your ball just flew way past the green.

9)    You just hit your ball from the tee or fairway, and everyone is looking for its flight. Someone says it's a "worm-burner."  In other words, worms should stay put because the ball is coming their way-- it never left the ground. 

8)    "Hit the ball "Alice," means your putt fell way short of the hole. First of all, most likely there is no one in your group named Alice.  Second, the term Alice never originated from a lady named Alice.  Peter ALYSS, a Bristish golfer famously left a putt short in a big tournament and lost the match. Thus, the term for short, missed putts morphed into Alice.

7)    You just hit your ball in the sand bunker beside the green - and your partner tells you it's on the beach. As if that is not bad enough you walk up and see you have a "fried egg." It's basically buried in the sand and only players like Arnold Palmer can get it out safely.

6)     You can make really good friends on the golf course by offering gimmes - meaning your opponent has a short putt (commonly called a knee knocker). You say it's a gimme, so he can pick up the ball as if it went into the hole - it's really better than a mulligan.

5)    Generally speaking, a "snowman" is a funny little character you have fun building in your yard after a snowfall.  In golf, it's not a fun time. It means you have had at least 8 swings at the little white ball on a single hole--so pick it up and better luck on the next hole. 

4)    Every golfer I know looks forward to the 19th hole even though the 19th hole does not exist.  It's actually the clubhouse where one can enjoy food, beverages, and storytelling. 

3)    Golfers talk about a fairway being a "dogleg right" or "dogleg left" meaning the fairway turns right or left.  Why are dogs brought into the description?  I never have got this one.

2)    Birds are a golfer's best friend.  For example, if you get a Birdie on any hole, you are one under par - an Eagle you are two under par - an Albatross, three under par - and the rarest feat in all of golf, a Condor which is four under par.

1)    The most dreaded words in all of golf is "the shanks."  Most golfers refuse to even speak it out loud.  It is a shot that comes out of nowhere that darts directly to the right or left and you have no idea how it happened or how to correct it.  Having had the shanks, my hands are shaking as I type this.